RAIDED

In the future, a game titled Queen’s Grace exists that allows for players to fully immerse themselves inside of a fantasy adventure world that is constantly evolving and changing. Think Sword Art Online crossbred with Final Fantasy XIV and you’re on the right track. This is a short story about an issue with a Raid in this title…

“We’re literally just going to die again!” She yelled with absolutely no faith at all. She was Tara, the Tank for the party. If you’re not entirely sure what function a Tank serves in an MMORPG their job is to play the game while the other dorks keep some health bars high and other health bars low. It is considered prestigious and the best tanks out there can keep party morale high and the players happy and engaged. This is why Tara’s decision to literally choke out their mage in frustration was considered “uncohesive” and “anathema” to fun.

            A little voice rose from the sheep girl who served as the party’s healer who was watching this mayhem from the side. The name she chose to go by was cute but too long for Tara to say while dealing with actually playing the game, so everyone just called her Bea. That little voice couldn’t disturb a butterfly from the flower it laid on but right now it tried to be assertive. “Um, p-please let her go!”

            Tara turned from the robe garbed mage and growled down at Bea the Healer. “Let her go?! Her dumb ass got us in trouble! EVERYTIME we challenge this raid we have to use THREE fucking Lost Anthems, twenty Alverion Spectrums, and we have to redo a World Quest! They’re randomized every time too for god’s sake! And do you know who has to do them every time? ME.”

            Now, there was a reason Tara did them every single time, and it was good of her to bring this up! You see, Tara had nothing resembling a real life. Genuinely, she tried. Friends tended to abandon her, work never worked out, and education simply didn’t keep her stimulated and focused. But MMOs was the perfect place for her! A stimulus based Skinner Box with a whirlwind of people constantly spiraling around you in queues and lobbies and events! It’s a chaos vortex custom made to pair intolerable personalities like Tara with adhesive sycophants with no ability to self-regulate their social vistas and incomprehensibly yet inevitably end up emphatically invested and adhered to people like Tara. Velcro in a wind chamber of burdocks. At least, that’s why Bea was here.

            As for the mage being choked out? She was a different story. She was here because she was incredibly bad. Avoiding orange circles on the floor proved to be incredibly difficult for her, as too was dealing with the more complicated action games. The MMO they were playing, Queen’s Grace, promised to be more storyteller based and less about the nonsense that permeated other games. However, there was something at the other end of this raid that the mage wanted. Her name was Ylva, and she was dead set on winning. She adjusted her black furred bunny ears and pushed back her dark purple hair and scowled. “I said we need to do it again!” She was able to bark out from her chokehold. “Just one more time!”

            What could drive a woman to such depths? What could ever be worth it?! In MMORPGs, there are these things called “mounts.” They are essentially companions you can ride, not for procreation but travel. And these mounts are often very pretty. Ylva knew at the end of this raid there was a mount. I am not exaggerating when I say that this is literally all it takes for a person who plays MMORPGs to ruin their life on purpose. The Black Pegasus, Heavenly Onyx Cloud Serpent, etc…

            But this fire lit in Ylva’s pale purple and pink eyes was a fire only a mount could extinguish, especially this specific one! Tara was not impressed and dropped her “”””friend”””” on the ground and huffed. “We have lost this stupid raid five times now. I want the weapon drop, you want the mount, but damn it we literally can’t get past the second boss, let alone the final one right after. What is going to be so different about this one, huh!? You’re our DPS, you’re the one who hasn’t a dogshit idea how to play this game. I could throw a keyboard down a stair case and it still might actually do its rotation better than you!”

            Ylva remained unmoved and determined but her friend was speaking the truth. “I’ll… buy better gear! I’ll get us a new buff! There has to be something right? Just please! If we don’t pass the raid this time… you can choose what we do next, okay?”

            A cold draft of wind swirled between the two and kicked up Bea’s flowing white skirt. Tara sighed. “I’ll go get started on the shit we need to redo the raid. But if you don’t have your shit straight…” She leaned forward and grumbled real low like a blender gargling asphalt. “I’m going to strip you naked and drag you on a leash through the nearest city and have everyone laugh at the fucking idiot low-damage DPS shit head. Got it?”

            Again, unmoved, with mount steam rustling her little peanut sized brain, Ylva nodded her head. “Yes! It’s a deal!” She raised her hand. Ylva stared at it like she just got offered marshmallow chili and just shook her head. She turned to leave and snapped her fingers for Bea to follow. Bea of course did. As a Healer, this was proper etiquette to obey your Tank, though Bea was naturally obedient.

            It was in the long silence that followed that Ylva realized she had no idea how she was supposed to defeat this raid. The content was still very new so no comprehensive guides were released and in fact such a guide was likely being hoarded for only those premium few who attempt world firsts. Whenever Ylva tried to look around all she could see are password protected guides saying they were for “Masters Eyes Only.” Typical!

            As well, there was just a talent issue in general. Tara hated her party and would literally laugh whenever a boss drew aggro on one of her party members instead, Bea only healed when you asked her which you would think being lit ablaze or gored by a horn would be a clear indication you would deeply appreciate some first aid but alas; and then Ylva herself had less talent than a peeled potato and that thing could at least fire up a lightbulb.

            Then she realized the solution as always to a lack of talent: money.

            She punched in the digits to her debit and let her in game coffers pile up ever higher. While we will not disclose the amount she parted with in her pursuit of a mount, we assure you that this is far from an insolated incident and reflects very accurately on typical mount-crazed behavior. Now unfortunately the most that her money could get her was… more currency in game. How was she supposed to find gear she could equip when she wasn’t very good to begin with? She placed an ad in the city boards ingame. Despite her clearly desperate offerings almost no one was willing to part with their wares or treat her offering seriously. Nary a bite on the hook so heavy with bait it scratched the river bottom.

            That was until she received the exact message she was hoping for.

            Ylva was walking down the stone path outside of the nearest city to the raid site. She was eating her third thing of cotton candy, a delicacy of strung sugar considered the food of the goddesses at least around this region. She was utterly out of her depth and munched at her cotton candy with the sort of clueless consigning reserved for hamsters suckling their water bottles. One of her pale eyes scanned across the horizon when her vision was drown to something out of the ordinary perched along the path out of town.

            Off just a little ways was a massive cart positively laden with precious items and spread out so as to form a little market stall. Upon the counter ahead of the hooded merchant was a strange staff that looked extremely overdesigned. The second Ylva noticed what it was she was looking at… she dropped her cotton candy and raced over. “Holy shit balls! Is this a Eruidicier’s Staff?!” She lifted it up and turned the overly ornate gothic staff in her hands. An actual endgame item she recognized, only achievable by the best (actually good at the game) players! And she was holding it! In her bad-at-the-game hands! The shopkeep raised his hood just enough to show his two red piercing eyes. She immediately felt compelled to place the staff back. “Sorry… I didn’t mean to dirty it.”

            Oh, the smile on his face. So warm yet ominous. If only they had sent literally anyone but Ylva. He nodded his head. “Ylva, right? You’re the one trying to defeat the Dark Temple of Enjin right?”

            She seemed confused.

            “You had placed an ad for gear?” He asked to clarify.

            “Oh shit the ad!” She barked. “Yeah, I had! We keep getting defeated by the second boss, it’s some kitsune bitch that just like, keeps throwing attacks and stuff!”

            “Is she on all fours? Throwing flames?” The little shopkeep asked.

            “Uh-huh!”

            “That’s only her first phase.”

            “Ah…” Ylva nodded her head. “… We never got past that. Or even close. I honestly doubt we’ve done damage. Or dodged a single move.”

            “Weird, considering I beat her~”

            That had Ylva almost jump on the shop table like a cat. “No way! How did you beat her?”

            “Well you see, I am a collector of sorts!” He gestured to his cart and all of the precious items he had laid out across his travelling abode. Masks and spears and throwing stars and tablets were intermingled with fetishes and gemstones and necklaces and strange abstract devices. “I mainly focus on PvP, so most of my time is spent defeating the sort of players who have the best gear in the game. We play for wagers, so I end up with a vast fortune of the best items in the game. With these items I am able to defeat every raid usually within an hour or it being released. I could offer these services to you as well if you would like.”

            It was too good to be true. Ylva must have known this and yet the temptation was terrible. This was her last chance to try for that mount and she’d reach her hand into a garbage disposal if a code for a mount was inside the drain. “I have myself, a healer, and a tank who also need to get decked out. We need better gear at least…”

            “How’s about a better set of buffs?” He grinned. “I can make you so strong that the first and second boss don’t even stand a chance. How does that sound?”

            “Sure!” Ylva said with growing glee. “That’s great!”

            “The conditions, however, are simple. Firstly, the buffs will remain until you defeat the last—”

“Yeah sure!” Ylva said with the exact same tone as last time she agreed.

The merchant… ignored her. “ —  boss. This is important in case you wanted to do other content or explore the story. Second is I must include a clause that I can remove the buffs the next time we meet. Remember, I enjoy PvP and have no way to make sure we don’t meet in battle.” To that, Ylva just nodded as it was all fair so far. “I need to hear you say it this time now~”

            “Yeah, those are really doable!” Ylva said. “How does this buff work then?”

            The man reached behind the table and retrieved a small amulet shaped like a golden leaf. “This is a powerful item known as The Relic of Transference. I will place my enchantment on it which will boost the strength of the whole party. As well, it changes the effects of spells that hit you into weaker variants. You don’t have to worry about getting hit, and if you do get hit it won’t be so bad.” The man then gestured with his eyes to the rest of the items laid out. “Provided you have the coin, I am also willing to rent these items out to you. As per the agreement prior, I keep the right to revoke these items when next we meet. If that is fair of course!”

            Of course, it was fair! Why wouldn’t it be fair! All was fair to Ylva when it came to festooning her soporific meandering life with mounts and Raids and Tara not being mad at her! She reached out with her hand and shook the man’s big paw. “We have a deal! Say, what is your name anyways?”

            The man just grinned terribly. “Goro is my name~”

            So, imagine then the next day. The party reconvenes and Ylva lays out a table of endgame gear. Tara is dressed as an angelic paladin with pristine shining white armor and a sobbing angel on the front of her breast plate and a sword as big as wheelchair ramp, and Bea looks a goth pope doctor with great taste in fishnets and in desperate need of a hair cut and whenever her robes get kicked up by the charitable physics in the game her underclothes look like a stripper’s outfit. Ylva herself is decked out in a tight body suit depicting hellish symbols with a tight dark blue leotard laid over top of it and a new hat whose form is warped and literally at one part torn into an orange glowing maw like the hat itself was some hungry terrible entity. Tara didn’t ask any questions when she saw all the stat increases and Bea wouldn’t question if you stuck her head beneath a guillotine.

Then, Ylva activated the amulet and all their levels leaped as high as they had ever seen. Their bodies morphed to reflect this; Tara became taller and stronger, Bea became more motherly and elegant looking, and Ylva’s eyes began to glow with chaotic magic and a third eye even opened as her tits ballooned out in a way only a JRPG would consider appropriate. Each of them broken into their own brand of laughter: Tara gave a sadistic smile who thought chainsaw mishaps were funny, Bea giggled like an airhead who isn’t sure when the joke ends but just thinks the very concept of a joke is funny, and Ylva snickered like the little class clown she was deep down just happy to help. They were like little shitty goddesses.

            Yes, now just keep imagining; The joy as they cream the first boss in record time. That shitty little kappa boss didn’t stand a chance! And then the euphoria as they face the kitsune boss! Her fox fire she tossed at Ylva turned into a harmless pile of leaves and her adds turned into harmless tanukis entirely uninterested in the fight. Taste the sugar sweet delight as they reach the second phase for the first time of this inhospitable fight! Then just imagine the joy of facing the second part of a challenge you’ve been up against forever now only for you to ONE SHOT IT. Ylva had raised her hand and simply blasted the kitsune in a radiant beam of moon light and reduced the kitsune into a pile of ash. The doors to the next room opened. Everyone’s heart entered overdrive.

            Now just picture the dread as the final room only has one figure standing inside of it. In the center of this gorgeous Japanese shrine, with water flowing all around them, with cherry blossoms dancing in the wind of the octagonal room, there was a hooded figure that made Ylva’s heart sink. Her equipped magic that let her see health bars summoned the UI as per its construction. It read, as shown below:

LEADER OF THE SHADOWCULT: HIGH CULTIST GORO

LV: ??   /  HP: 100,000

            “Alright, let’s fucking go!” Tara cracked her neck and raised her heavy blade to her shoulder in a ready to strike pose. She bent one knee forward and blasted forward, leaving debris behind her in her rocketing race forward.

            “Wait! Tara don’t—” Ylva tried to warn but it was much too late.

            Tara was a mere inch before the short cultist. Goro raised one of his paws and snapped his fingers. The second he did, Tara’s face was overwhelmed in a cloud of UI warnings. All of them were bad news.

            [WARNING: You do not meet the requirements to equip Apostle Buster Blade and it has been unequipped!] [WARNING: you do not meet the requirements to equip Angelic Martyr’s Aegis and it has been unequipped!] [Warning: You do not meet the[WARNING: you[ WARNING WARNING WARNING ]

            The sword sunk into the ground and the hands holding it were repelled as if by magnets averse to each other. Tara crashed on her knees right before the cultist, utterly encumbered. The ferocious Tank tried to lift her arm, but the joints of the armor refused to move. The metal prison she was inside of creaked and groaned but offered no sympathy to her attempts to move as her breath raised to a fever pitch. “W-why can’t I fucking move?! I don’t have a debuff! What happened to my stats?!”

            Frozen in place before the supposed boss, the tanuki just shook his head. He lowered his hood to reveal those red eyes and the big fluffy ears on the top of his head. “Oh, sorry, your friend must not have clarified the contract I had entered with her. Your power and armor were borrowed, and I have decided to revoke the rentals.” He turned his eyes toward the robed healer looking on shocked in the background. “See, my least favorite part of the healer armor…” He raised his hand and a new message flashed in front of Bea’s face.

            [WARNING: Rental period for Pope Doctor Robe has been ended by Goro and has been unequipped!] Goro’s held out hand now was holding on to the robes and Bea was exposed. Her fishnets hugged her curvy hips well and tight and her bountiful chest was on full display. She gasped and tried to cover herself up with her staff.

            “I-I don’t get it!” Ylva said, probably wishing she had said this much sooner, but she was going to get it now. She was going to make this right. “I thought you were a player…?”

            “Oh, I am! You see… I a combination of both these things, player and boss,” Goro said, remaining ever smug and near the tank, casually walking around her. Tara began growling furiously like a coyote trapped in a cage. “This game… glitched one day. No, it is more fruitful to say I exploited it. A mechanic involving borrowing stats from other enemies was glitched, but such an exploit required patience, full mastery of the boss you wished to… take over~” He ran his paws under Tara’s chin and tickled her. She spit at him which his tail easily kept him safe from.

            He continued on, “I merged with the boss after days of patiently grinding him into nothing and absorbing every single move, every single stat, everything he was. You see, the boss’s special power was merging and stealing powers from players, and my class’s power was stealing moves from enemies. Once I had both… there was nothing in the game that was off limits, no line I couldn’t blur. Mechanics became playthings and rules lost their outlines. Observe~”

            Goro floated in the air and raised his paw. Wind kicked up the dust on the battle ground and the water flowing around them began to swirl and shake. He placed his paw on Tara’s head and began to pulse some terrible energy through her, purple and red lightning surging in and out of her. Her eyes went wide and white as a ghost.

            [WARNING: Level Reduced by 1]

            Instantly, as soon as Ylva saw that first notification pop up in front of Tara’s face she lifted her staff. She channeled all her fire, all her moonlight, anything she could into one powerful spell. She aimed frantically and shot off a powerful blast! 

            [WARNING: Level Reduced by 1] [WARNING: Level Reduced by 1]

[WARNING: Level Reduced by 1] [WARNING: Level Reduced by 1] [WARNING: Level Reduced by 1] [WARNING: Level Reduced by 1] [WARNING: Level Reduced by 1] … and so on! A tree of these popups cascading in this compressed moment over Tara’s head and the girl shrinking back into her armor as she weakened. The blast consumed the armor, the girl, and seemingly the tanuki as well.

            The smoke gathered around them like a miserable circus tent. Wind pushed away the curtains and the unscathed master of this shit show emerged entirely unscathed. Or to be more accurate: HP: 99,999 / 100,000

            Goro broke down into laughter. “Good try, Ylva. A shame you barely know how to use those spells or you may have actually accomplished something. Well, maybe you did. Your friend was pretty weak you know!” Ylva felt a bead of sweat shiver like ice down her forehead. “You didn’t do enough damage to take me out, but maybe Tara didn’t make it~”

            Before Ylva could even say anything, the ever eager pocket healer was already screaming and racing across the battlefield with her resurrection spell prepared. “I’m coming Tara! Resurrection!” She raised her staff and cast out a powerful beam of angelic light as heavenly rays beamed down and attempted to resurrect Tara…

            Only the spell told Bea that there was no applicable target.

            The heavy armor began to rustle. See, equipped it encumbered, but as random debris you could very easily move it per the logic of this world. The plate was moved aside. The first thing that emerged out from the pile of metal was a long, thick ringed tail. It was bulbous, fluffy, and cute. Then came the surprisingly thick and bouncy ass that the tail curled back in front of, fluffy and tan and brown. The rest of the girl emerged, her head poking out.

            It… was Tara only… smaller! Cuter. She had big adorable eyes that looked more at home on a plushie. The creature emerged out and scratched at her head, standing just a bit shorter than three feet tall and cute. The miniature runt puffed her cheeks up and looked around. “What happened… ugh Ylva! Bea! C’mon, hurry up and heal me!” Tara was confused by a lot of things it seemed, though Ylva saw something more concerning: Tara was no longer in her party… and a new HP bar appeared in her HUD.

Tanuki Cultist: Tara

LV: 1   /  HP: 5

            Tara turned to Goro, confused and bubbly. Looking at him made her scratch her head. “Ugh… M-master nuki~ What did you want me to do nuki?~” Her voice was a mascot character’s delivery, all high pitched and exaggerated. Ylva just watched on, dumb founded.

            “Get the healer!” Goro ordered.

            Immediately, Tara nodded her head and giggled. “Yes Master Goro-nuki~!” And she fell to all fours and raced towards Bea! Bea didn’t know how to react to this! All of a sudden the Tank she was supposed to be helping was an enemy that even her staff could knock out with a single attack! Was she supposed to take it out? What happened to Tara?! Her indecisiveness and kindness were her downfall when her foe was this crooked.

            Tara-nuki leapt up and latched on to Bea’s face and began dry humping it. Back and forth, patting her face like a teddy bear. “Unf~ Master Goro-nukiiii~! I can’t do any damage nuki~! I got no stuff down there!”

            Goro played acted, putting his fingers to his chin and running his thumb contemplatively along. “Oh so true… How’s about I give you a buff and let you borrow one of my weapons then? That way you can do some damage~” Goro snapped his fingers and summoned a fluttering ofuda paper~ It zapped forward and slapped against her back and stuck.

            And immediately a three foot long horse dick emerged from between her loins in a sudden burst~ Black at the base, red at the tip, greasy and ready to go~ “Thank you master Goro-nuki~!” Tara-nuki raised her hips, fluttered her rear hiiigher and higher, and then slammed every inch down the healer’s throat who now was suddenly afflicted with a status ailment related to not having much sovereignty over your own throat.

            Every hump lowered Bea’s HP and drained a few pips of her INT skill! Ylva tried healing Bea only to find her healing spell did almost nothing. “Damn it, the shit head’s ‘buff’ is just gonna alter all my spells into weaker versions!”

            “Figured it out?~” Goro smirked. “About time, seriously. Come on, now get to the next step and try and save your friend! Or… maybe you should run~”

            Ylva prepared her spell, trying to summon a more precise beam, hoping that Goro doesn’t just take her staff the second she tries to shoot. Goro kept on taunting her, saying “You can just turn around and leave. Leave your friends behind and let me keep them~ You can come back when you’re stronger and save them, get your mount. You have no reason to stay here and help them~” Was he actually trying to get to leave? Reverse psychology her into staying? Somehow she was hit with the repulsive full body shake associated with realizing no matter what she does he wins. This slimy meta gaming asshole wins.

            “Fuck it!” Ylva threw the staff to the side and full body tackles the imp pint tanuki clean off of Bea! Glrck~! A fat shoveled wad of spit splashes across Bea’s now shimmering cleavage and on to the floor around her. Ylva wretches the tanuki free, grabs the dick like a hammer handle, and SMACKS Tara-nuki clean into the ground so hard she literally squeaks like a dog toy.

            <1d6 + 1 = 4>

            Tara is left with a single HP and reeling in pain. She responds correctly: “Ouchie!” and lays on the ground recovering from the pain. Ylva huffs and pants staring down Goro who was… He was a looming mastermind but even he was taken aback by the back alley clownshit that was wielding your friend like a cock handled war hammer.

            He smiles more sincerely. “Alright, you know what, just for that… You honestly deserve the mount, holy SHIT.” He breaks down into laughter. Ylva’s eyes lighten up. “Here, a new deal. Let me keep Tara, and in exchange I’ll give you a mount. How’s that sound?”

            Ylva lets her guard down and walks right up to him. “Sure! That sounds great!” She reaches out her hand and grabs his own and shakes on it. The contract seals. Tara is immediately healed back up by a sneaky arena spell and ends up on all fours and presents her ass into the air.

            Goro flies Ylva over and squeezes at her hips. “Here’s your mount~”

            “W-wait! I thought you were going to give me the mount I came for?”

            “Of course! I have a very rare mount just like you heard… and it’s your former friend Tara here~ Look at that short stack ass. Look at how she’s shaking, presenting, begging to be bred~”

            “W-we’re both girls!” Ylva protests.

            Goro just laughs. “Pretty sure 98% of the avatars around her are girls. If equipment is a concern, don’t worry, we both know I’m good at lending the stuff out.” He slaps an ofuda on Ylva’s crotch before she can protest. A long pulsing canine cock explodes out, purple as the dreamy stars above, throbbing with so much need. Ylva is overwhelmed by a pure surge of stats and needs… This damn cock was higher leveled than she was.

            Ylva shook her head desperately. “N-no! I won’t do it! This… this is just plain weird! I don’t care what you do, I won’t…” But then she felt something just behind her. Two fingers sunk against her leotard from behind. She turned and sure enough…

            Bea had grown a single tanuki ear on one half of her head, her int low and hair suddenly much blonder. “Hehe… you’re soooo cute Ylva~ Come on, take your mount~ You know you wanna you know you—”

            Even Bea couldn’t get too many words in before Goro casually took her. He rammed his horse cock he suddenly obtained right through her tanuki ear. Ylva’s eyes shot wide and watched. It was carnal and fierce~ Goro thrusting back and forth in miniature thrusts, every time met with a ding of [WARNING: Level Reduced by 1] over and over~ Every thrust that cock grinded deeper inside. Bea’s eye grew bigger, her head cuter. And then the cock burst out the other side and stretched her other ear into a big fuzzy tanuki ear. Bea’s eyes lowered and a content smile spread across her face. Her legs shrunk until she was literally dangling by the cock between her ears. Her clothes fell aside until she was nothing more than a busty short stack tanuki. Her tail unfurled like a towel hanging from the shower curtain and began swaying back and forth like a grandfather clock.

            “Ehehe…~” Bea-nuki giggled. Ylva watched her HUD.

[WARNING: Party disbanded. Raid will be abandoned in one minute.]

Tanuki Cultist: Bea

LV: 1   /  HP: 2

            There were no good signs to be had. Ylva watched as that new tanuki fell free from her master’s cock and came crawling on the ground. Ylva stood there quietly as her borrowed robes slowly began to dissipate and vanish away into glitter.

            She watched as all those levels vanished and stats slowly lowered.

[Please claim any dropped loot, mounts, pets, and minigame cards at once.]

            Her heart pulsed but her borrowed cock throbbed harder. Goro hovered over head, leaning in and close and nibbling at one of Ylva’s ears until it turned fluffy and tall. Bea leaned in and did the same with the other ear.

[30 seconds until automatically kicked out of instance…]

            Goro pushed his balls into Ylva’s face, letting her savor the feeling. Ylva’s hands weakly squeezed at Tara’s hips, digging her fingers close in against that fluffy set of exaggerated pornographic hips. Hips hips hips…

            You fucked us! Flashback Tara yelled. You’re fucking useless you dumpster trash fuckhead! UGH! Why can’t people like you stick with shit like Runescape?!

            Ylva hissed through her teeth.

[Loot claimed.]

            THRUST THRUST THRUST THRUST! Maddening unleashed mayhem came to a head as Ylva pounded her tank into dust. “I just wanted to have fun…!” She moaned. Tara-nuki nodded here head.

            “Ehe, I was a bad nuki-nuki~! Ehehe! Punish me punish me nuki~! Maybe if you defeat me you’ll get enough EXP to level up-nuki~!

            “So strong nuki~!” Bea-nuki cooed. “Almost as strong as High Cultist-nuki~!”

            Ylva felt her face stretch into a short muzzle as Goro’s balls rested on her head. She felt all her strength get sucked out and sink into those fat nuts. Her into lowered more and more, her every last stat lowered to rock bottom. “Tara… you bitch… All I wanted was fun… All I wanted was to raid… All I wanted… WAS A MOUNT-NUKIIIII~!!!”

            She came a fat wad of pure liquid levels inside of Tara which oozed out on to the ground. They were player levels which were no good for low level mobs like them~ The stuff was just incompatible. Ylva sunk down on to the ground, a happy buzz in her head. At least she was pretty sure that was how her programming was telling her how to feel.

            Master Goro was here so she was happy. Two other minions were here so she was +2 happy. She was also horny because she wanted to breed and make more minions which would be +X happy. More happy is more good.

            …

            “So, honey, this is pretty much the game!” The guy saying this was only describable as a salary-man’s anime protagonist persona. Black hair arranged in stylish bangs, lithe coat thinly armored but mostly an expensive jacket. He even had a cool sword on his back and was guiding his wife, the blonde elven healer, through the grass ahead.

            The wife kept staring across the area admiring how real it all looked, how lovely it felt to be in this world. “Wow, VR really has come a long way! This is just like some sort of hybrid between Sword Art Online and the artistic direction of Final Fantasy XIV!”

            “… What are either of those things?” The husband replied. “Well, anyways! We should get moving ahead! The others are waiting for us. They’ve played this before so these tutorial areas are pretty boring for them!” He lead his wife on ahead.

            The campsite was barren. Fire put out, logs overturned, and their archer’s gear was abandoned on the ground. Immediately the husband sunk to his knees and looked for clues. A high perception check meant he saw tracks and began following them. He gestured for wife to stay close.

            High bushes marked the trail through to the forest. They emerged inside and found a clearing where a tanuki with their archer’s hair was masturbating to the sight of their tank getting his face peppered by two fat tanuki dicks and draining his scant few levels and making him shorter, hornier, needier.

            The Tank turned and tried to explain what was happening as his intellect drained. All he could say is, “Run! They’re fast-nuki!”

            But it was too late.

            Pat-pa-pat!

            What was that sound? The married couple turned frantically, trying to figure out what it was. Neither of them recognized the sound but it sounded like something running! And it was getting louder!

            Pat-pa-pat-pa-pat-PA-PAT!

            And leaping into frame was a tanuki riding on the back of a glorious rare kirin mount! It gleamed with holy gold light, flames danced around it, it made women ovulate and lesser players sobbed, and it was the vehicle of a mount crazed nuki brained mage who would settle for nothing less.

            “Sorry I was late-nuki~! Oh, new friends! Let’s introduce them to the da master-nuki~!” The tanuki beamed. All of the tanuki, newly turned or not, approached with one simple and single mind.

            Obedient, unquestioning, uncaring, and so simply happy.

            And one of them got her mount.

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