Almost there, but at what cost?
Hey guys, I used to write a lot huh? I want to start with an apology because writing hasn’t been happening a whole ton. There have been drabbles and works, proof readings and analyses of the play Machinal by Sophie Treadwell, but I kinda felt like that little thing wouldn’t interest you.
The main purpose of this Salty Union is to touch base, manage expectations, and really re-explain just how absorbing this semester has been.
I’ll start with the good! I’m aching to write! Whenever I sit down to write I find myself just pouring with new ways to write, new ideas to play with. Over the course of this semester I have read six novels, eight plays, consumed new films and games and engaged with my friends as an enthralling story teller. My confidence as a creator is up, my drive is good, and I really feel like after all the reading I’ve done I’ll be a much better author. My Female Authors reading class has been pretty fantastic. We’ve read everything from The Awakening to Jazz by Toni Morrison. I’ve learned a lot more about interesting ways to write, culture, and all sorts of other jazz AHAHAHAHAHA. It has only made me feel more good about what I’ve put out, especially with how weird my Aska and Blaire stories can get at times! So that’s good!
What am I going to be doing when I get back? Commissions and personal stuff. I want to write more stories with my characters and more stories with popular characters. Pokemon girls, Fire Emblem, all that good stuff. Salty Fates… Yeah. I want it to happen, but I won’t lie, I like Three Houses a metric fuck ton more than Fates, so Salty Houses is calling my name a lil bit harder. But that might be good and allow me to write Fates as a smidge smaller of a project. As for commissions, you know the drill. Everything I have left is repeats, and in a perfect world I’d open up again for the holidays for commissions! But, I won’t confirm that!
Alright, now lets talk about what has stopped me from writing.
First off, FUCK THIS FUCKING THEATER CLASS HOLY FUCKING SHIT.
I am going to be legit with you guys. I have THREE 400 level IST classes, a science class, and this Women’s Writers class that are all pretty damn involved. If I put together what is due in each class over a month, my Theater class has more work due per week. I wish I was kidding, I wish this was some elaborate setup for some fucking hilarious joke. If you know how to make this turmoil funny, please tell me. I’ll credit you. I don’t want to get specific, but it mainly involves reading each play literally five times, doing huge analyses on each, dealing with an inaccurate syllabus, taking a quiz that literally grades you based on how long you take (so get fucked fast typers), and of course we have 9 finals. One per play, and one big one to end it all. Also there are like three extra things per play per week- okay sorry, sorry, ramble ramble. This was an intro class btw. Theater 100. INTRO. TO THEATER. We hate it.
As for a more real reason… I’ll be even more legit.
I’m depressed out of my fucking mind.
I’m going to a therapist. I’m talking to people. I’m managing myself and trying to keep a clean head. October was one of the most absolutely miserable months of my life. I, again, really wish I was joking. I don’t want to get into specifics, because this isn’t traditional drama, its not really easily solvable, nothing medical, not even something that would affect me if I was just numb to it. It is getting a little bit better, but the threat is always there. I’m having a hard time keeping myself going. I feel broken, like nothing is really clicking anymore except some vague magnetism telling the pieces they should stay near each other. I’m working hard to stay better, because of course this semester has been fucking hell school work wise and every night I fall apart it just compounds things. It is a big reason why I haven’t had time to write and why I’m not doing the advent calendar this year. I need to keep my stress low.
So yeah.
That’s where I am.
I want to promise that when winter break hits, when next semester comes I’ll be back at it absolutely, but I can’t 100%. I know writing is coming, its what I live for, it fulfills me and makes me really damn happy to see people enjoy my writing. I want to do more reader suggestions, more unique and fun stuff, but I just need to find the time and power.
I really hope you’re having a good night.
See ya
Salty.